Desk Buddies

This is my bronze sculpture collection I call “Desk Buddies.” My goal here was to create very accessible, small injections of joy that people could put wherever they needed them most. I called them Desk Buddies because, well, most of us could use a pick me up at our desks. But don’t let the name stop you from putting these little bronzes anywhere!

All of these sculptures will fit in your hand. And even though they’re small, they still have many of the hallmarks of my style: planes, volume, and dimensional lines that enhance the different animals and their sense of motion. And of course, emotion.

  • A Bronze Bunny Rabbit Sculpture by Laurel

    3 3/4"h x 4"w x 3 3/8"d For me the energy of the rabbit is one of bounce and play. A bit of living on the wild side. This delightful little bronze bunny is full of verve and showmanship. Not only can it do the splits, it can balance on its ears while doing so. It seems every I time touch this rabbit sculpture I hear it sing out "Ta Da!" Like a magician it pulls joy out of thin air and wants to share it with you.
  • Alex

    $365.00

    A Bronze Lion Sculpture by Laurel

    2 1/2"h x 4 3/4"w x 1 3/4"d Alex the lion is full majesty at rest. Alert while also being very welcoming to your attentions. I've always been enamored of male lions. It's probably the mane that made me and most other little girls want to hug one when the circus came to town. Not a very good idea. Lions are symbolic of wisdom, power, royalty, dignity, courage, and justice , to name a few. Why not bring the king of the jungle into your home or office? It's a great piece to keep you inspired as you overlook your own domain.
  • Batter Up

    $345.00

    A Bronze Kitten Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3 7/8"h x 4"w x 5 1/2"d Here's one playful kitty! You know that any moment it's going to pop to its hind legs, leaping with full force, intent on batting whatever caught its attention. Felines bring focus, agility, and wide eyes to their love of the chase. If you happen to be a baseball or softball fan, this kitty could be the catcher. If nothing else, this little one will catch some adoring pets from its playmate. Then it's time to move into the purring part of the game. This is a piece that's sure to bring smiles and warm the cockles of the heart of any cat fancier.
  • A Bronze Dachshund Sculpture by Laurel

    1 1/2"h x 4 3/4"w x 2"d This is one happy dachshund. When a Doxie gives you the belly you know they're putty in your hands, or more likely vice versa. This little bronze Dachshund sculpture represents my love of those soft velvet ears and adorable legs. Similar to my Bottoms Up sculpture, it's an invitation to love and hugs. No matter what the breed of pooch you have it's impossible to pass up the opportunity to rub the belly and smile.
  • Ben

    $455.00

    A Bronze Bear Sculpture by Laurel

    3 3/4"h x 4 1/2"w x 3 1/2"d Ben may be the closest I've come to sculpting the classic teddy bear in bronze. Everything about him is gentle, with a sweet face and a playful manner. I'm not sure what mischief he's getting into, but he's obviously up to something. It's always a treat to create a piece that looks soft and fuzzy , out of a material as tough and lasting as bronze. If you'd enjoy fun bear energy in your home or office, Ben may be the perfect Desk Buddy for you.
  • Bill

    $390.00

    A Bronze Bison Sculpture by Laurel

    3"h x 4 1/2"w x 2"d I've wanted to sculpt a bison for some time. They're so solid; it seemed a perfect animal for me to sculpt in a more traditional, non-whimsical design. If you've ever wondered why their heads are always so close to the ground, you have no farther to look than their skeletal system. I spent a lot of time with it and it's pretty interesting: they're basically snowplows on the hoof, designed to push snow off of their food. Bill is a classic bison, the icon of the West. As such he embodies a variety of medicines, including manifestation, protection, earth creativity, feminine courage, abundance, knowledge, generosity, hospitality, sharing work, courage, strength, challenge, survival, giving for the greater good, and formulating beneficial plans. Take your pick , it's all good stuff. And in such a small package!
  • Bob

    $415.00

    A Bronze Bear Sculpture by Laurel

    3"h x 4 1/2"w x 2 3/4"d Sometimes a bear simply needs to be a bear. For quite a while now folks have been asking me to create pieces with my style and energy, but that were more realistic. Perhaps a little less whimsical. You can certainly find bears striking cute poses in nature, but for Bob I decided to express the strength and grounding force of the species. Bear energy is a strong source of support, being fearless and confident. Whether Bob is adopted as a totem or simply as the essence of bear, he's sure to bring his solid presence to his new home. Big things do come in small packages.
  • A Bronze Bear Sculpture by Laurel

    2 3/8"h x 3 5/8"w x 1 3/4"d This little bear was the beginning of the Desk Buddy family. The very first one. As this fellow looked up at me from the palm of my hand, I had the sudden clear vision of a line of smaller, more accessible bronzes that could bring joy to even more people. Like my larger tabletop piece, Bear Bump, I wanted to capture the gentler side of these formidable creatures. While they represent power, bears also know how to cut loose. It's a lesson most of us could stand to learn.
  • Bruce

    $585.00

    A Bronze Moose Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 6"h x 7"w x 3 1/4"d Yes, I was raised in the age of Rocky and Bullwinkle. How could anyone not love a moose? As the largest member of the deer family, moose is associated with longevity, wisdom, confidence, self-esteem, and steadfastness. I've only managed to see one bull in the wild , many years ago while backpacking in the Wind River Range in Wyoming. I was shocked as he reared his head up from chomping on something in the bog. Of course what I remember the most were his amazing antlers and his completely relaxed attitude on seeing me. I'm very thankful for that, as moose are huge and wild. Happily, my Bruce is welcoming to all friendly folk. Here's a wonderful piece to add to your Desk Buddy collection, or a great one to start your collection.
  • Brutus

    $455.00

    A Bronze Bear Sculpture by Laurel

    3 1/4"h x 5 3/4"w x 3 3/4"d Brutus is not a teddy bear. He's a bold and somewhat menacing fellow. Truth be told, it was a challenge to create this piece, but I knew I needed him to complete Hamilton's story. Hamilton is my handsome and elegant bull. They make a great pair. Brutus is for those who want to play with the market or simply resonate with the energy of a mama or papa bear protecting the cubs. Either way, here is one strong and dynamic Ursa Major.
  • Caesar

    $500.00

    A Bronze Bull Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3.25"h x 6.75"w x 2.75"d Caesar is so new I haven't had a chance to come up with words to describe him. He's definitely my most...assertive bull. That's probably a good quality in a bull market! Come back soon for more words and a video.
  • Cat-itude

    $235.00

    A Bronze Cat Sculpture by Laurel

    2 1/4"h  x 4 3/8"w  x  3 5/8"d "Cats rule, dogs drool" is probably one of the many thoughts that can go though this little bronze kitty's head. I wanted to create a statue that just vibrated with being all kitty, all the time. Poised, graceful, alert, gorgeous, and proud. Each cat can be sphinx-like in its own way. It would be hard to imagine a world without felines; who would remind us that we're not really in charge?!
  • A Bronze Dolphin Sculpture by Laurel

    2 1/2"h x 4"w x 3 1/4"d How clearly I remember the joy of playing in the water for hours with my family and friends as a child. It always seemed so unfair when we were called inside, even though we were beyond waterlogged. And I have always loved the magic of dolphins, so it only felt right to create a bronze dolphin sculpture. (The show "Flipper" was a favorite of mine in years gone by.) What I love about this sculpture is that it makes for the perfect gift for lovers of both dolphins and art. One of the cool things about this piece is how you can display the sculpture in several ways. It's still the same jovial story, with its unique little twist. My hope is that we always have a lighthearted circle of friends in our lives. There certainly are times when three is not a crowd, and this is one of them.  
  • Cover Girl

    $325.00

    A Bronze Fox Sculpture by Laurel

    4"h x 4 5/8"w x 2 1/2"d I have some tantalizing photos of my mom at the beach in her two-piece bathing suit taken in the era of Marilyn Monroe, whom my mother adored. It is not as common now, but there was a time when you might hear a woman referred to as being foxy. As in many creative endeavors it is best to make what you know. It was an automatic impulse for me to sculpt this little bronze fox sculpture as a cover girl. She is one proud beautiful fox with her long slender legs and fluffy tale. If there is a fox in your life, this sculpture is a great way to let her know you recognize her foxiness. Or it's a great piece to have to remind yourself how stunning you really are, Foxy Lady.
  • Devotion

    $285.00

    A Bronze Meditating Dog Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3 3/8"H x 2 1/2"W x 2"D Ask anybody which is the most loyal and loving of creatures. Most will respond "dog" without taking a breath. I have little doubt that Brian, my Corgi, worships me. (May I be worthy!) No doubt he would wag his tail in agreement if he had one. I see in those liquid brown eyes he is as loyal as his body is long. Devotion is a rich concept that can encompass anything from loyalty and faithfulness to piety and worshipful adoration. I created this Intentional sculpture as an invitation to the viewer. An invitation to dedicate themselves to whatever moves them. Be it spiritual or earthy, this little pooch is happy to help. You can feel the power of its attention as it holds its head high, alert and wanting only to serve.

    About Intentionals

    This sculpture is part of my new series of Intentionals. I've designed them to actively help us realize our visions. Each has a hollow on the underside of the sculpture. The hollow itself is a metaphor for receptivity, and should you choose, write down a thought, prayer, goal , or anything. Place your writing in the hollow and allow the sculpture hold the vision for you. Our ancestors across cultures created physical items to support their intentions: Some as lofty as world peace, and others as personal as marital bliss. These pieces are here to serve you, as you may well serve others with your intentions.
  • Gladiators

    $1,025.00

    An Interactive Bronze Bull and Bear Sculpture by Laurel

    4"h x 12"w x 6"d

    – This is a new piece. The complete set is available for $1,025.00 + shipping. – – Please contact me for availability ,

    As you can see from the images, Gladiators is a fun piece. The platform of US currency or elegant marble rectangle provide a nice stage on which my market characters Hamilton and Brutus can strut their stuff. You can write an infinite number of stories with your arrangements of these two. I've had fun playing with them. They can be combative, nonchalant, or disengaged as if the dust has settled and they're heading back to their corners. Change them to fit your mood or reflect whatever's happening in the market. As you can see, I have two platforms available: Most recently I've done a cool printing of US dollar bills on sturdy 12" by 6" acrylic. Gladiators is also available on unique 12" by 6" marble. Both types are raised on soft plastic bumpons to protect whatever surface you put it on.
  • A Bronze Giraffe Sculpture by Laurel

    8 1/8"h x 2 1/2"w x 3 1/4"d What is that giraffe doing? It's your story to tell. This may seem a bit far-fetched, but I was inspired to do this giraffe sculpture after revisiting Edgar Degas' work. I have always adored his sculpture Little Dancer Of Fourteen Years. I decided a little bronze giraffe sculpture would look delightful in a similar pose. As it turns out, giraffe anatomy is very unusual, almost prehistoric. It took a lot of experimenting with this giraffe to come up with a posture that was sculpturally satisfying in a vertical stance. As far as Degas' piece, I was able to interpret the positioning of the legs and feet and capture a similar sense of pride and stature.
  • Hamilton

    $510.00

    A Bronze Bull Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3.5"h x 6.5"w x 4.25"d

    Welcome Hamilton. I created him to represent not only the essence of Bull, but also as a companion piece to my various bear Desk Buddies.

    Here at last is the other half of the dance for those connected with financial planning, investments, or simply watching the financial markets do their thing. Hamilton is a worthy addition to my other finance-related pieces, most recently Wall Street Waltz 2and Change-abullity.

    I named him Hamilton in honor of the founder of our nation's financial system, Alexander Hamilton. But even if you're not into finance, you can enjoy the essence of Bull, which is pretty darn dynamic in its own right.

    I loved sculpting this little guy. It was a challenge to create a small piece that's playful while expressing strength in a forward and upward movement.
  • A Bronze Pig Sculpture by Laurel

    4 1/4"h x 4 1/2"w x 2 1/2"d Oh what a good time this little bronze pig is having. I say if a bunny can balance on its ears, why can't a pig do a nose stand? Our vivacious little porker works in a variety of positions: He flies, does back bends, and balances on his schnoz. Such a talented little creature. I delighted in sculpting this piece. It was as if I was taken to another place as it came to life. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I played Piglet in my high school musical production of Winnie-The-Pooh. I got to sing and dance, a good time was had by all. Come on in and join the fun, rub a very inviting belly and have this bronze porker perform for you.
  • A Bronze Otter Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 2 3/4" H x 5 7/8" W x 1 5/8" D Yeah, I can't help myself with the word play. I'm sure otters would approve. This little one is laid back and loving life. A perfect role model. This is kind of a temporary page until I get my act together with better words and a video. We'll see how long it stays this way!
  • Hoot Suite

    $340.00

    A Bronze Owl Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 6 3/4" h x 3 3/4" w x 2 3/8" d I haven't sculpted a bird since Winging It, and I do love me some owls. I was also overdue to create a new Desk Buddy or two. These lovebirds are holding down the fort, which in this case is the barn where I have my studio. This is kind of a temporary page until I get my act together with better words and a video. We'll see how long it stays this way!
  • A Bronze Cat Sculpture by Laurel

    6"h x 5"w x 2 1/4"d Not all cats are long and lean, but this little bronze cat is and loves to show it. As should be fairly obvious from my sculptures that I absolutely adore dance: I find the fluidity of movement and personal expression displayed by dancers is inspiring. I am often asked at art shows if I dance…oh how I wish! I dance vicariously through my bronze figurines. I don't know where this kitty is performing, but whether it's in Carnegie Hall or alone in a meadow, it really doesn't matter. It's all feline and feeling fine.
  • A Bronze Wolf Sculpture by Laurel

    3 1/4"h x 3"w x 3 3/4"d It's the full moon as I write this. I can almost hear this bronze wolf sculpture howling. Possibly a little off key since it seems to have an itch that must be attended to. This bronze wolf has balance, a little tension, a little humor, and a great combination of smooth and textured surfaces. No one who's handled Itching has been able to keep from smiling. How do you itch and howl at the same time? It's a story I think we all can relate to, busy lives. It seems even when we have time to sit down we can still find ourselves multi-tasking. Wolf energy abounds, time to laugh, howl, and scratch that itch!
  • Jess

    $400.00

    A Bronze Fox Sculpture by Laurel

    3 3/4"h x 6 1/2"w x 3"d I frequently see foxes scampering and hunting around our property. It's a real up side to living in the foothills of Colorado. I love to watch them , so flexible and athletic with long legs and lean body followed by that incredible tail. This pose for Jess came to me after I watched a gorgeous red fox stretching in our north field. Foxes are adaptable: mentally quick as well as physically agile. I'm guessing there could be some cunning in there as well. Could be she's just pretending to stretch while watching some potential prey out of the corner of her eye.
  • Kick Ass

    $325.00

    A Bronze Donkey Sculpture by Laurel

    4 1/2"h x 5 5/8"w x 2 3/8"d What could this little bronze donkey be doing? Since "ass" is just another name for a "donkey," maybe I should have called it Ass Kicking? I love this domesticated beast of burden expressing its mischievousness by kicking up its heels. Or hoof in this case. I enjoy the lines and sculptured planes in this piece. With the arc in the turn of the head the energy of the kick flows right back to the "expression" on the donkey's face. This is a powerful and energetic sculpture. Perfect for any location where you might be inspired to giggle in your resilience.
  • A Bronze Scottish Terrier Sculpture by Laurel

    3 1/4"h x 2"w x 2 1/2"d If you know a Scottish Terrier, then you understand this pose. One of my collectors who breeds Scotties requested a bronze Scottish Terrier sculpture featuring his favorite pooch. Scotties (Scottish Terriers) are one of the breeds that lend themselves to my style. They have such distinct physical features as well as being brave and alert. The beard, the ears, tail and skirt are classic features that comprise a Scottie's adorable package with attitude. This Scottish Terrier brings all of its attitude to bear as it regally deigns to let you kiss the paw.
  • A Brand New Bronze Bull and Bear Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3.5"h x 6.5"w x 4.25"d

    Market Swing is a cool new piece with another fun take on the market movements. Is it a dance? Or is it a take down? If you look closely, you'll see the bull is a little steadier on his feet than the bear. And what's happening where hoof meets paw?

    This piece is so new I haven't had a chance to get all my words together yet. Here is a temporary video , check back soon for the final. Thanks for stopping by!
  • A Bronze Cow Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3"h x 5 1/8"w x 2 3/4"d Oh my, this bronze cow is hot and she knows it! In this case big and voluptuous is bovine beauty at its best. I live in rural Colorado, right next to a large ranch that is home to some very similar cud-chewing creatures. I am so fascinated by cow's bodies, the way they slowly move their heads and stare as I walk by with my husband and Corgi. These girls have a unique posture and poise, it seems they know more than they let on about. Our little bronze Miss Wisconsin is way out there, proud to be mother to the dairy industry.
  • A Modern Bronze Female Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 6"h x 1 1/8"w x 1"d This is Woman. It didn't take me long to determine the title to this piece, which I think speaks for itself. Like most sculptors, my first explorations of the sculptural medium involved the human figure. I was trained in classical methods, sculpting from models and making each piece look as realistic as possible. All artists start somewhere, and that study was the foundation of my current stylized work, including this lovely female sculpture. As an artist I am in constant inquiry into various sculptural forms of expression. After a long run of animals, I had been interested in returning to the human figure and settled on trying to express the essence of woman. My goal here was to create a simple form that also spoke to the lumps and bumps a female experiences as she travels through life. This is a moment when we proudly honor our femininity. It blows my mind how so much can be said in just a few ounces of bronze. Sometimes big things do come in small packages.
  • Peace

    $285.00

    A Bronze Meditating Dog Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3"H x 2 1/2"W x 2 1/4"D I know; this is a big concept for such a little pooch. Peace invites you to take a moment and pause, resting in a place of quietude. It felt natural for me to sculpt this Intentional sculpture with soft ears and a full, rounded belly. I created this piece as an invitation not only to take a breath, but also to be conscious of an intention. Be it personal peace, peace for a family member or friend, or a broader vision of world peace. This calm and gentle pooch is more than delighted to help you realize your vision. To quote John Lennon, "give peace a chance." I support you in that!

    About Intentionals

    This sculpture is part of my new series of Intentionals. I've designed them to actively help us realize our visions. Each has a hollow on the underside of the sculpture. The hollow itself is a metaphor for receptivity, and should you choose, write down a thought, prayer, goal x or anything. Place your writing in the hollow and allow the sculpture hold the vision for you. Our ancestors across cultures created physical items to support their intentions: Some as lofty as world peace, and others as personal as marital bliss. These pieces are here to serve you, as you may well serve others with your intentions.
  • A Bronze Dachshund Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 2 1/2"h x 2 1/8"w x 2 1/8"d There's no place like home. This little dachshund sculpture is my expression of cozy contentment. Here I wanted to really play with the dachshund's long body, velvet ears, adorable hindquarters, and whip tail. When I hold this little bronze figurine in my hand I sense softness (even though it's bronze) and peace of the moment. Pretzel Dog is a perfect pooch to calm your nerves and create a glimmer of a grin.
  • Pure Heart

    $345.00

    A Bronze Horse Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 2.5" h x 3.75" w x 3.75" d Who doesn't love a colt? They radiate "precious" from the moment they stand on those wobbly legs. This is my third horse sculpture. What better animal to express the beauty of innocence and absolute potential? Those wobbly legs will soon run like the wind. This is the colt I dreamed of having as a little girl after reading Black Beauty and playing with my plastic horses. Pure Heart will bring a soft smile and quiet the mind. It's a great piece for any horse lover or to celebrate a special occasion.
  • Riley

    $415.00

    A Bronze Puppy Dog Sculpture by Laurel

    4 1/2"h x 4 3/4"w x 1 3/4"d Only 1 left in stock If you want to make people smile, show them an image of a puppy. Truth be told I watch puppy videos on YouTube when I'm feeling tired and need a little pick-me-up. Riley is one of those little Heinz 57 pooches who knows how to steal the show. I always find it interesting how I can add a specific texture and it makes bronze look soft and inviting. There are no hard edges on this pooch. I can just hear Riley doing the mind control thing saying "pet me, please" or could it maybe be "treat?"
  • Royal Bow

    $365.00

    A Bronze Corgi Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 2.5 h x 5" w x 1.5" d I admit it: Although I love all dogs I'm a particular fan of Corgis. Our first pooch was a Corgi and as of this writing we're on our fifth generation. We wanted a dog that was intelligent but goofy-looking enough to make us laugh without even trying. Corgis always have a smile on their face and butts that just won't quit! And maybe I simply wanted to feel a little bit royal. I'm not tight with Queen Elizabeth, but we do have Corgis in common. Adopt a little bronze that's low-slung but high-brow and you can too.
  • A Bronze Dog Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 4 3/4"h x 6"w x 1 1/2"d This is She Said Yes. My goal for this bronze figurine was to capture that truly magical moment of commitment. It also happens to be a very satisfying arabesque, for the dance aficionados among you. I decided not to make the dogs any particular breeds in this sculpture, to make it a little more universal. The female in particular is a real heinz 57, but she's all woman. She Said Yes makes a perfect gift to celebrate weddings, anniversaries, any time you need a big hit of romance.
  • A Bronze Turtle Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 2 1/2"h x 4 3/4"w x 1 1/2"d I love, love, love turtles, simple as that. I'm lucky enough to live near a pond where I can see them sunning on the bank…until they notice you and slip into the water. My big challenge with this sculpture was figuring out a way to get movement into the piece when turtles themselves have very few moving parts. And those that do are quite a small portion of the body. For my first turtle sculpture I decided two is indeed better than one. As with many of my tabletop sculptures & statues I find richness may be added when depicting a relationship. These two little ones know how to move and groove; everything about this sculpture says happy.
  • A Bronze Frog Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3"h x 3 3/8"w x 2 3/8"d This may be the first frog you really do want to kiss. It's hard to pass up that smile and open, come-hither expression. So what if it's a bronze frog? This little amphibian is relaxing and looking good doing it. Most of us are on the lookout for our Prince or Princess, and we all know what enchantment can occur when you do kiss the frog. Plus they have such adorable toes! If you happen to have a special person in your life that adores frogs and appreciates the art of bronze sculptures, this may be the perfect gift idea!
  • A Bronze Bunny Rabbit Figurine by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3 3/4"h x 4"w x 3 3/8"d This is Sit and Be Fit. I decided to create a strong support rabbit to be the grounding energy to one of my other rabbit sculptures Acro-rabbit. This little bronze bunny not only will support Acro-rabbit, but makes a strong statement on its own. No gymnastic troupe can perform without the support of muscle and a little showmanship. Big ears also come in mighty handy for keeping everything in balance. This figurine is meant to be playful and inviting, yet grounding. A perfect collectible gift for the rabbit lover in your life!
  • Take a Bow

    $345.00

    A Bronze Elephant Sculpture by Laurel

    This little elephant has a style of its own, loving to show off and perform. I know of no other pachyderm that can do one arm pushups and balance on its head. Maybe that's why this one is proud to take that bow. The fact this elephant knows how to play shows why elephants are considered wise, intelligent, compassionate, and lucky charms. All too often we forget the importance of play and joy. This little one is here to remind all of us to let go, have some fun, and practice our headstands.
  • A Bronze Elephant Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 3 1/4"h x 3"w x 2 3/4"d I love the work of August Rodin. When I decided to craft a bronze elephant, I enjoyed finding a pose that represented the elephant's personality while also being light-hearted and joyful. As I researched elephants I found that their legendary memories are complemented by a high level of self-awareness. What could be more perfect than an elephant in the pose of Rodin's The Thinker? This was a tricky sculpture due to the elephant's sheer size, posture and movements. When this bronze elephant statue is held in the hand, you not only feel the physical massiveness of the elephant , it weighs three pounds , but also the intensity of the cognitive power. And of course I had to sculpt the trunk up, wishing us all good luck!
  • A Bronze Horse Sculpture by Laurel

    Dimensions: 4 3/8"h x 4 5/8"w x 2 1/8"d I think of this piece as my laughing horse. As in all of my sculptures my intention is to create a design that is unique while still being relatable. I decided this little bronze horse wanted to share its humor along with its intelligence. Maybe it just told the classic joke: A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?"

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